Project Who Am I: Reveal myself; Research

This project will showcase and reflect upon myself and my inner feelings, including the part of myself that is perceived by others. If someone ever asks me, “How would you identify yourself?” or “How are you feeling right now?”, I often struggle to find the response I truly want to convey. I am constantly contemplating my emotions, which leads me to question my identity and how others perceive me.

Yes, most people can’t pull out their answer right away. Hoever, that does not mean that there are no answers that can be given. Personally, I believe that the first step in order to answer this question is asking to myself, how am I different when there is nobody around me and when I am surrounded by my friends or people that I know? I got the answer right away for this question.

I show every aspect of me when I am alone: including being depressed, sad, lonely, and blue. I only show these parts while I’m on my own since these are my insecurities. I tend to hide them. I thought that I am the only one with this problem and it lead me to act like that part of me doesn’t exist.

Now, I realized this is not only for me. Most of my friends were struggling from what I was struggling fron, and they are scared of showing their other side to others as well.

I wanted to show and leave a message encouraging people to show themselves by being the first ones to do so. I hope they find out that it’s not only them; actually, many people around them were the same as them.

Inspiration

<The two Fridas> 1939, Frida Kahlo

“The Two Fridas” is a self-portrait. On the canvas, there are two figures that both look like Frida, yet they are in different states mentally and physically. We can infer that they are the same person as the heart in the painting is connected with a vein. The physical difference is shown through their outfits. Frida on the left is wearing a white dress reminiscent of her wedding dress, while the one on the right is wearing traditional Tehuana costume. Taking into consideration the background at the time, Frida was going through a tough period with her husband and had a divorce.

I presume that she is representing herself, wearing the wedding dress, as the person she truly wants to be. Since the wedding dress-wearing Frida is bleeding, it shows how she wants to go back and experience the pain of her divorce again. Additionally, her heart is torn out, causing even more bleeding. Her white dress is becoming soaked with red stains of blood, symbolizing her unstable mental state.

Frida on the right side of the painting is holding onto a pendant with a drawing of a man, which is also connected to another line of veins. Frida’s heart on the right is clean; her veins are not cut off, and we cannot see any blood coming out of her.

In conclusion, by portraying the real Frida on the left and the Frida she wants others to see on the right, it inspired me to express myself in a similar way. It has always been challenging to convey my true self through words alone, so I, like Frida, choose to communicate my message through drawing and painting.

<Dilemma> 2015, Joshua Miels

Joshua Miels, an acclaimed contemporary portrait artist, skillfully seeks to encapsulate the raw essence of human vulnerability and the emotions often concealed beneath the surface. Employing a meticulous approach, he meticulously builds up layers upon layers of paint to create artworks that possess an undeniable presence and profound intensity. Working primarily with oil paints, each composition embarks on its own unique trajectory, undergoing an intricate process of exploration and experimentation. Joshua’s art beckons viewers to delve deep within themselves, provoking introspection and inviting them to connect with their own emotions and personal narratives.

In this piece, each feature of the face is quite unrecognizable because of various layers of strokes that cover up the face. Those strokes make the image drown, soak, and vanish by melting. In my opinion, the strokes seem to represent the dilemma, and the man’s face, which represents his true feelings, gets covered by it and changes shape. This piece shows the raw self, falling apart.

Uses of numerous colors for his skin also allows people to create a character in the drawing. The mixture of cold and deep blue with hot and intense red shows mixed emotions of depression and anger inside him. The contrast between the clean white background and the colorful figure makes it even more recognizable and bold.

I would like to mix all of these special elements from each of the artwork and create them into my own production, utilizing it as a way to express myself and show how I truly feel to the world.